I Love You
by RedPantsOnTheFloor
Summary: It has been 3 years since Sherlock's death. John Watson is devastated. Will he be reunited with Sherlock Holmes? JOHNLOCK. [This fanfic is based on their relationship, but with appearance of some other characters (like Molly).]
1. Chapter 1: Empty

RedPantsOnTheFloor presents:

_JohnLock fanfiction in:_

**Chapter one: Empty**

And there he was, once more, standing in the top of that tall building, the detective that he could never doubt. John knew what was coming next, but he wish he didn't and every single time he tried to stop it…but he never succeeded at that task. And then, all he felt was emptiness.

John Watson woke up in sweat at 5am, but that was the usual for him. The Doctor didn't know what to do that early in the morning, but he was English, so he went to the kitchen and made tea.

His days were calm and always the same. He went to work and stayed working as long as possible so he could be distracted, at least. Molly came to visit every once in a while, just to check on him. They developed a great friendship, but it would never fill John's hole.

And that morning she came at Baker Street and knock at 221B door. John Watson was already expecting her and made an extra cup of tea for her. They sat in silence for a long, long time while drinking their teas. Molly was the one breaking the silence "So, how's Mrs. Hudson new friend? I heard them laughing upstairs." John realized that he didn't notice any of that, and he felt like he really didn't care, but still he answered in a funny way "You know Mrs. Hudson, Molly. She still rocks." They talked for a little longer and then Molly stood up to take her leave. But John stopped her "Molly? Can I ask you something?" She found it odd and got a little nervous, but she replied calmly "Yeah, sure. Whatever you want." John didn't know how to put it, he couldn't find the right words, he didn't like to talk about Sherlock Holmes, it made him feel bad, but he did anyway "If Sherlock…..if Sherlock was alive, what would you tell him?" Molly's heart raced a bit, she felt terrible whenever John brought those conversations up, she couldn't stand the fact that she had to lie to him, so she said, in a way trying not to hurt his feelings "John Watson, you need to let go. It has been almost 3 years since, since Sherlock's death. You need to move on, you can't be like this forever." John knew she was trying to help but he replied aggressively "How Molly, how can I ever let go? How can I move on? His dead and there's nothing I can do! Absolutely nothing." She was trying to imply something to John, that she herself would never be able to do, but she knew the truth, she knew Sherlock Holmes was alive. "I'm just trying to help you."

"Just leave" he said "Just leave" and, once more, he felt empty.


	2. Chapter 2: Crushed Worlds

**Chapter two: Crushed Worlds**

Molly left her keys and phone on the table. Grabbed two packs of lunch and gave one too Sherlock Holmes. "Here, I brought you lunch." Sherlock looked at her and asked "So, how's John today?" "He's fine." She replied immediately, but she knew she couldn't lie to Sherlock "He's devastated. I think he barely slept tonight and he talked about you. I, I can't do this anymore. I'm sick of lying to him. I know it's for his own good, but-" Sherlock got up and walked out of the laboratory saying nothing at all. Molly shouted "Where are you going? You didn't even touch your food" Molly looked down, she knew it was hard for him.

Sherlock walked London's street carefully, trough alleys and small streets, with small amounts of people, so he wouldn't be recognized. He lived a boring life now, he couldn't solve cases anymore. He was dead to people, but he also felt dead inside. And above all, he missed his Doctor, his blogger, his companion, he missed John Watson.

The world didn't change, everything was the same, but not for Sherlock Holmes, not for John Watson. Their worlds crushed into very small pieces.

Sherlock liked to look at John when he knew he wouldn't see him. John often visited his grave, he stayed there for hours sometimes, talking or just sitting near it. And Sherlock felt bad, he wanted to tell him he was alive, he wanted to tell him he was fine and that he missed him…but he couldn't. It was already too much for one person to know the truth, he already feared for Molly's life.


	3. Chapter 3: The Rooftop

**Chapter three: The rooftop**

John had friends and colleagues at work, he laughed with them and had fun with them. But he felt like it was all a big lie. Most of the time he just went home and watched television, trying not to remember Sherlock's sarcastic comments.

Every night he went to the rooftop of the building that he hated so much, he looked down and remembered every second of the tragedy, the phone call, the note, the words and the fall. He didn't doubt Sherlock for a second. He knew he wasn't a fake. Sherlock was real, so real… Most of the nights John just stood there watching London from above, every night he was so angry and he felt so bad. But this night was different, John just didn't feel. He didn't even feel emptiness, he felt nothing, just nothing. He now had his mind so clear, he knew what to do, how to end the suffering. He had a bright image of Sherlock in that same rooftop, so he opened his arms just like Sherlock did in his memory and shed a tear, just one. He was ready.


	4. Chapter 4: The Never Ending Night

**Chapter four: The never ending night**

He felt the wind blowing, the cars passing, but none of that mattered anymore, not to him. He was ready to let go of his body and fly.

But suddenly he heard a voice "John don't!" _that_ voice. He kept that voice in his heart, he knew it was Sherlock's voice. But he couldn't believe it. Part of him just wanted to turn around and follow that voice and embrace the body that owns it. But the other part of him, didn't want to get hurt again, didn't want to believe something so delusional. But, it made him stop, it made him curious, it made him feel something again and he couldn't just ignore it.

John Watson slowly turned around and kept his eyes on the ground, he wasn't ready to face whoever was there. He lifted his eyes with hesitation and in that moment he was overwhelmed, he couldn't face what was right in front of his eyes, he couldn't acknowledge that it might be true. But there he was on the rooftop of the building he hated so much looking at Sherlock Holmes. That night seemed to never end, and that moment of silence turned into thousand years.

For once in his life Sherlock felt something he never felt before. Something he didn't know how to call, what to name this new feeling. He looked at John Watson, the person he missed the most and told him "I'm alive."

John came down from the trail and all he could do was get close to Sherlock look into his deep green-blue eyes and just punch him in the face with all the strength he could find.

Sherlock start to bleeding from his marvelous cheekbone, but he didn't blame John, all he could said was "Sorry, John. I'm so so sorry." He could clearly see anger in John's eyes but that wasn't all, he saw something that he would never expect.

And John finally gained the courage and strength to say something "What the bloody hell, Sherlock? How can you be…alive?" Sherlock gave him the look, yes the look right before he starts explaining something that only he knows "Well, actually it was pretty easy, I-" John interrupted before Sherlock could continue "I don't want to know how. I want to know why, Sherlock." He saw John shedding a tear and he felt horribly "Moriarty was going to kill you, John. And the only way to stop it was by killing myself. It was the only way to call the snipers off."

Then, John said "You know what I asked Molly today? What would she tell you, if you were alive. Because I always wondered what would I say. But know I know, it's all clear know" John paused for a second, looked at Sherlock's bleeding cheekbone and then into his eyes "I love you."

Sherlock was shocked, he wasn't expecting John to say something like that. But he felt, once more, that feeling, the feeling he couldn't name and the feeling he saw in John's eyes. And still looking at them, he replied "I love you too."

_It was love, he felt. Sherlock Holmes felt love_

And it seemed like the night would never end. They both stayed in that rooftop looking at the sky, at the moon, at the stars. Cuddling, laughing, loving. They were happy, and they didn't want that night to end, _ever_.

**~THE END~**


End file.
